My sister is having a baby. I started writing this TWO DAYS AGO because she went to the hospital ON MONDAY and we still don’t have a baby TODAY. Please enjoy my feelings about birth, as told in gif form:
Monday, February 25th:
1:30pm: Tarah is being induced. I had to make my mom stop describing it because ew, gross.
5:30pm: Tarah is back at the hospital after being induced. Alex’s stress level: 8/10
7:00pm: Tarah’s contractions are regular. Alex’s stress level: 10/10
7:40pm: No updates yet, but I am going into sporadic tears while watching Castle. (IT WAS AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE AND I AM FRAGILE OK).
8:16pm: Mom gives me updates using graphic medical terms. Gross, mom.
8:31pm: They are sending Tarah home for reasons that make me gag again. More waiting!
Tuesday, February 26th:
8:00am: Back to the hospital for Tarah. Godspeed my friend!
9:00am: I have to go to work, this baby is taking foreeeeeeever.
2:00pm: Home from work. Tarah has been at the hospital all day and nothing is happening. It’s because he’s waiting for his Auntie Alex to come and witness his mother’s Greatest Pain Of All Time. But seriously buddy, hurry it up.
3:00pm: Tarah is officially Rachel from Friends in that episode where everyone in the world has a baby before Rachel. Tarah has witnessed approximately 6 women give birth so far.
3:15pm: Tarah is getting induced AGAIN. Holy crap, this baby business sounds horrible.
4:00pm: Tarah gets to go home for a few hours. I imagine this is how she feels:
8:00pm: Back to the hospital.
9:30pm: Oh sweet mother of pearl, they are sending her home again. WILL THIS HELL NEVER END.
Wednesday, February 27th:
8:00am: Just so you all know, we’re going on DAY THREE of having the baby. Chances of me having children:
Overnight Updates: Tarah came back to the hospital at 11:30 at which point her water broke. Yay! Gross! Since then she’s had her epidural and is now resting. For those who appreciate gross body part updates, she’s at 4-5 centimeters.
9:00am: I am off to work. I will give y’all the big update when it comes. Go Tarah!